Perspective

A friend of mine had a baby recently and I’ve had multiple conversations with her about breastfeeding, offering up my tips and advice and sharing what’s worked for me. Earlier today, I gave some gift registry advice to a friend whose baby is due this winter. It was a funny position to be in, because it seems like I was there just such a short time ago and now I was the one giving advice. What! When did that happen? When did I turn into any kind of expert on anything?

Shelby is four months old today, but it seems like just yesterday I was devouring baby sleep books* and being driven to tears because she wasn’t napping “regularly” (no such thing at this age) and calling the pediatrician to ask if it was okay to bulb a booger out of her nose (true story).

Oh, how my questions and problems seem so silly now! I’d pry any mom I knew for any precious nugget of information or wisdom and they just kept telling me, “all babies are different” and “it does get better.” At times I just wanted to tell them to cram it. I WANTED ANSWERS!! I WANTED THEM NOW!!!

Parenting is a crucible. A science lab. A NASCAR race. A study in the effects of sleep deprivation and how it can be applied to torture situations. Some days you feel like it’s nothing more than a fight for survival to just get to the end of that day.

But then a month passes. And then two. And then four. And then a funny thing happens. You look back and many months have gone by and you think, “Hey, maybe I have this parenting thing just a tiny bit figured out. At least for the moment.” And then the moment changes and you have a bigger epiphany: As soon as you have something figured out, it changes, so you might as well resign yourself to not really knowing what’s going on at any given moment and roll with it.

Months have passed and many more will. The weeks turn into months and the months turn into years. And you know what? So far we survived. She’s survived. She’s thrived. She’s a happy, healthy baby right now and that is all we can ask for in this moment. Sure, there are worries and trials, but the joys and small victories make them seem insignificant in comparison. It does get better. So much better. And we can look forward to it continuing to get better.

I can tell my friends what kind of car seat to register for or how clean pump parts but I’ll also tell them this:

All babies are different.

Trust your instincts.

This too shall pass.

Do what it takes to get through the day.

You're most likely not doing anything wrong.

And it does get better.

And it's okay if they tell me to cram it.

* I’ll save my rant on those for another day. But oh do I ever have a rant for those frakking baby sleep books.